In 1999, Sisqo launched “Thong Tune,” an ode to ladies’s thongs and the way a lot Sisqo wish to see them. Although the sentiment is timeless, the tune is now, sadly, dated: “Thong Tune” captured a markedly pre-Y2K thong, designed for late-20th-century butts. In any case, within the period of its debut, artists had solely begun to discover the various methods during which butts may clap. Many butts clapped in accordance with a primitive system of pulleys and levers. In the meantime, maybe some school dormitories and higher middle-class properties had entry to broadband butt-clapping, however most of America nonetheless used dial-up. Through the 18 years since we first heard “Thong Tune,” butt-clapping and the music that celebrates it have seen some unbelievable advances. Additionally, Sisqo made the “Thong Tune” once more.
And now the fruits of these parallel labors—a transforming of “Thong Tune” for producer JCY, and for the butts of as we speak—have premiered at Buzzfeed. There Sisqo explains, “I’ve been requested so many occasions through the years to make a brand new model of ‘Thong Tune’ and I’ve declined each time.” However these people who find themselves all the time petitioning Sisqo to make one other rendition of “Thong Tune”—swarming him within the streets and screaming to please replace “Thong Tune” for the butts of a brand new era, Sisqo, these butts have seen a lot already of their lifetimes, together with 9/11, and so they have their very own approach of doing issues, distinct from the butts of their elders—will ultimately be given satisfaction.
“I’ve declined each time till I heard the brand new model that JCY did,” Sisqo says. “I assumed it was dope and figured possibly it was time to place some new rims on the Bugatti.”
Whether or not this new “Thong Tune” turns into a sufficiently big hit to buy these $800 Bugatti rims on eBay stays to be seen. However conceptually, at the very least, the two.zero model of “Thong Tune” is already a smash success. There are nonetheless thongs, and the 41-year-old Sisqo nonetheless desires to see them. There are younger ladies whose dumps stay like vans and whose thighs persist like what, their indeterminate taints hugged by strips of underwear like wow, that is the longer term we have now lengthy dreamed about. And it has all been tastefully up to date with a manufacturing that has extra of a contemporary, anesthetized marimba vibe, like an iPhone that may’t assist loving dat ass.
There’s additionally a brand new video—one which pays respectful homage to the unique by additionally partially happening at a seaside, the place Sisqo equally arrives to let the assembled ladies know the way a lot he enjoys their butts. Nonetheless, this time Sisqo retains his shirt on, within the act of gentlemanly deference that characterizes our extra progressive as we speak.
Alas, he doesn’t do any loopy flips this time, one thing Sisqo remorsefully explains was the results of an ideal storm of setbacks—a “devastating loss in our group” that put a distinctly somber temper over the butt video; a just lately sustained damage that left Sisqo with three dislocated ribs; and in “the epitome of insult to damage,” solely a few hours to be taught the choreography, so rushed was the demand to satisfy that decade-plus of hectoring about when there can be a brand new “Thong Tune” already. However, Sisqo overcame these hindrances like an enormous fats booty straining round an itty-bitty thong, and in each instances, the battle is what makes it a triumph.
There’s additionally an element the place a mannequin buys a bag of one thing referred to as Thong Chips, that are both thong-shaped chips formed, or chips that thongs eat.
Maybe you may simply shove the chips proper up a few of as we speak’s trendy butts? We haven’t actually stored up with TED Talks. Regardless, that half is obtainable up with out rationalization. So somebody might want to begin pestering Sisqo for the subsequent 18 years, till he lastly makes a brand new “Thong Tune” that clarifies.
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